FauxNixon

IMDb reports that three new movies will be released to cinemas this Friday:

1. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale 

Directed by Uwe Boll, this movie is really pre-destined to be terrible.  Seemingly every movie he attaches himself to becomes so ridiculously awful as to actually make them unreviewable.  What’s most surprising is the cast he’s been able to assemble to make this!  They include Leelee Sobieski, John Rhys-Davies, Jason Statham, Ron Perlman, Claire Forlani, and even Ray Liotta.

The plot outline given by the IMDb is that “a man named Farmer sets out to rescue his kidnapped wife and avenge the death of his son — two acts committed by the Krugs, a race of animal-warriors who are controlled by the evil Gallian.”

2.  First Sunday

I am not at all familiar with David E. Talbert’s earlier work, but this film’s plot is reported to be: “Durell and LeeJohn are best friends and bumbling petty criminals. When told they have one week to pay a $17,000 debt or Durell will lose his son, they come up with a desperate scheme to rob their neighborhood church. Instead, they end up spending the night in the presence of the Lord and are forced to deal with much more than they bargained for. ”

It stars Tracy Morgan, and Ice Cube.  It’s hard to expect much, even from them, with that kind of plot, but I suppose we’ll see after it starts screening.

3. The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

Mike Nawrocki directs this title having come from a long career of work related almost exclusively to VeggieTales.  It’s animated and doesn’t seem to feature any terribly memorable actors to point out.

The plot summary given is: “Three lazy misfits - very timid Elliot (Larry the Cucumber), lazy Sedgewick (Mr. Lunt) and no self-confident George (Pa Grape) - dream of the day of putting on a show about pirates. With their own problems of might not having this dream come true, they soon find themselves traveling back in time into the 17th century and begin a quest to rescue a royal family from an evil tyrant, and learn about being pirates. ”

Based on the plot summary I guess I just hope it’s a limited rather than a wide release.

That’s all for this week, so unless you’re planning on seeing something released last week, you might not even bother going to the theatre.  It looks like nothing especially interesting is coming until the following Friday.